Saturday, September 17, 2005

Memo To:

Retail clerks: Check the signature on credit cards after the person signs the receipt. Didn't you wonder why credit cards have signatures on the back.

People with any kind of headphone-based music player: If other people can hear it, it's too loud. If you're at the front of the bus, and I can hear it at the back of the bus, seek treatment for your ears or heart or brain or all three.

Institutional custodians: From now on, please unlock both sides of double doors. How are people supposed to guess which one you've done if you only do ONE SIDE?

Hyperbolic People: 100% means everything. For a while it was cute to say you were going to give 110% but now it's just gotten stupid. Now people are claiming they're going to give 200% or 250% or 1000%. Enough already.

CBC employees: Don't picket the Governor General's installation or any other place that's not CBC-related. There's reasonable protest and then there's just being a jerk.

Smokers: At your earliest convenience, please explain what is is about nicotine that compels you to throw LIT cigarette butts onto the sidewalks and streets of the nation? We all have our stuff -- Lord knows I do -- but I throw my junk food bags in the garbage.

Medical people: Stop complaining about people going to the emergency room for non-emergency medical problems. Open your eyes: tons of people can't get timely medical attention any other way in this country. Also, stop referring to "universal health care" as though we had it. When people can't get appointments with competent physicians, when patients are kept on waiting list for years on end, when emergency services are routinely closed, it's not universal.

5 comments:

Jessi said...

well said!
And to add

To freshman.... my time is valuable to me...since I don't have alot to spare. Also the hallways in the school are narrow enough. Therefore when you stand in your circles in the middle of them obstructing the whole hallway....I have to spend extra time squeezing through the little space left and end up walking into lecture late which makes me miss valuable notes and causes me to have to spend the time to catch up on them later which takes up time I had alotted for other important things. The moral of the story...your not in kansas anymore thats why theres a cafeteria!

K said...

To the American Boarder Patrol:

It was one cow, in Alberta, so long ago I can't remember. Please, stop making me smuggle my balogne sandwhich into your country under fear of a 200 dollar fine. My balogne isn't going to make anyone sick. My country has regulations on the quality of it's beef, your's does not. What exactly is you plan here?

Patrick Marsh said...

K: Isn't balogne pork? Either way, congrats. :)


Finally an update Todd, I was beginning to think you had abandoned ship. I have one pet peeve:


Caper Convenience: Why do you still have no actual groceries? Something like 100,000 dollars was spent on building that thing (or so I have been told) and hey, guess what, we still can't buy a loaf of bread. Yeesh.

K said...

Pat you live in Sydney, why do you need bread?

pettigogy said...

Oh, one more.

Memo to families:

Do not all dress the same for your family portrait. It does NOT take the emphasis away from what you're wearing; just the reverse, in fact. It puts more emphasis on the clothes, because everyone's wondering what team you play for.